Ghosting and Dating

You may not be familiar with this, as was my case, but the term is called Ghosting.  

Urban Dictionary defines it as such:

Ghosted – To abruptly stop all forms of communication and contact with someone else especially an online relationship.

When someone you were relatively on good terms with suddenly doesn’t respond to your messages anymore or doesn’t reach out.

Source:  http://www.urbandictionary.com.

Has this ever happened to you?  You met someone recently, on-line and now you are chatting, texting and talking on the phone.  Maybe you’ve even met in person and are dating.  Suddenly, this person ceases communication with you, no text, no phone calls, no emails …just nothing, like they dropped off the face of the earth!  Well, if this sounds familiar …then chances are you have been GHOSTED!

This happened to me just recently, and after talking with a couple of friends I find out that this is a common thing which occurs in the dating world, especially online.  I would not imagine this would be the trend in dating over 40 or 50 …but I guess there are no age limits when it comes to being emotionally absent.  Maturity isn’t gained with age on some people.

Ghosting is more prevalent amongst  younger crowds of on-line daters.  It is a new age and a whole new set of rules.  You can even be considered to be dating someone even if you have never met in person.  Yes, you heard correctly.  You can be dating someone even if you have not met them, simply by finding them on-line and building a rapport of texting, chatting and maybe even the occasional phone conversation.    When this no longer works and you have no intention of meeting, you can just Ghost them and be done with it.  Which seems I guess harmless enough …unless you are actually dating in person and have been for months, as was my case.  In my opinion, ghosting at this point should be absolutely unacceptable.

Acceptable or not, if you are out there in the dating world this is something you may encounter.  So now what?  My best advice, MOVE ON!  Ghost them back, do not inquire as to why they did this.  Chances are if you have been ghosted they are not going to be forthcoming now with an explanation, you most likely will receive more silence.  Best thing to do is act like you don’t care, you don’t even miss that they are gone, and maybe you actually don’t.  If it is meant to be than they will come back to you, realize their mistake and contact you.  Then at that point you can decide if they had a valid reason for their behavior …illness, car accident etc.   If after ghosting back you still get “crickets” …well than probably they never cared anyway, and if they ghosted you to begin with, do you really want someone like that in your life?

Find someone who has enough respect for you, as a person, to at least text you a so long, an explanation of why they do not care to communicate anymore.  The pond is full of fish, and if not, find another pond.  Swim on and fish again!  😉

Until next time …

medw_cowgirl-003

Happy Fishing!

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