Do you ever have a date where you are left with so many unanswered questions? The date ends and you are wondering what was that all about? You leave the date going WTH? It happens to me a lot, more than I would like to admit, actually.
I took a break from the dating scene for a little while. You just have to do that from time to time …just take a break! Otherwise, the whole thing can drive you crazy! When things aren’t working out for me or I have too much on my plate, I need to take a step back and re-group and breathe. Time to think about what direction I want to take next. After which, I can step back in and have a fresh, optimistic outlook about it all.
But then you have those strange dates …I am sure you all can relate, everyone has had them. I just don’t understand where people are coming from sometimes, what do they expect? What do they want out of a first meeting? Sometimes it is not always clear at this point. Sometimes something will happen and I think, is it me? Would anyone else find this strange? Would someone else be bothered by this? Am I the only one who does this or thinks this way?
I had a date not to long ago. The guy was a little older than I usual date, but I was open to dating a slightly older man …However, in saying this, I did not expect him to look 10 years older than his picture! People please put current pictures on your dating profile! What do you think happens when you meet someone!? I realize that ultimately it is what is inside that matters but, it helps to know up front what to expect so you are not shocked, disappointed or whatever the case is when you meet.
I arrive at the restaurant a little early. I like to do this and maybe have a drink before they get there, it helps calm the nerves. Yes …I am nervous before a date, you never know what to expect! It is just like with the box of chocolates. Of course he is late, and calls to say he is having trouble finding the place …I get this a lot, not sure why as I try really hard to pick a spot that both parties could easily find or are familiar with. But that is not a deal breaker, so no worries. What was a deal breaker I guess, for this date, was when he decided he was done with the date because he was tired of sitting there and wanted us to leave and go somewhere else. Okay, let me explain here …
When I meet someone for the first time it is usually for dinner or drinks, coffee etc. So usually at a place with a restaurant type atmosphere. There are a lot of wackos out there, so somewhere public with a lot of people. Seeing as I don’t know this person, have never met this person, I am not comfortable with any other arrangement. What do I expect out of this first date? I expect to hopefully set there for drinks or dinner and talk, get to know this person I have taken the time to meet. This is the date people, there is no let’s leave here and go somewhere else. Now, some of you may not understand this. But for me, the first date is all about meeting. It really isn’t a date in a way, it is a meeting …I mean you have never laid eyes on this person, in person before. Anyway, I rarely feel comfortable enough with someone at that meeting to want to leave with them in their car and go somewhere else …especially unfamiliar places. Why oh why do men not understand this?? I once had a guy that actually got very angry and offended that I would not go to his house with him and listen to music! He said, “What do you think I am? …a serial killer?” Umm …I Don’t Know, I just met you!!
So he arrives, we order immediately like he is in a rush. He talks very little, engulfs his food and then the conversation goes like this:
Him: “Well, what do you want to do now?” “Let’s go somewhere else.”
Me: “Oh, well I thought we would sit here a little longer and get to know one another …I didn’t plan on going anywhere else …I am not sure where we would go …” I am thinking this is the date.
So I start talking, asking him some general questions …trying to get to know him. All of a sudden he interrupts me. I guess he was not interested in conversation.
Him: “So you don’t want to go anywhere else?”
Me: Again, “No, I’m sorry, I thought for this first meeting we could just set here a little while longer and talk, if you don’t mind.”
Him: Silence again, followed by “Well, if you don’t want to do anything, I think I am just going to go ahead and leave and go on back to the house.”
Me: “So long then!” To myself: Don’t let the door hit you in the ass and please DO lose my number! Ugh!
And then here come the questions …WTH! What was that? Why would he not want to sit here and get to know each other first …is that so terrible? Why would he not understand I am not comfortable leaving with a total stranger that I have not talk to much on-line and only met and been with for an hour!! I just don’t get it! Do people actually do this a lot? Is this the norm?
Okay, any thoughts on this one out there? Any comments to share?
Happy Dating to you, I hope! 😉
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