There is a saying that goes something like this …”You can’t catch a fish if you don’t cast your line.” The problem isn’t casting the line, that is easy, but after you cast the line …then the waiting begins and I am sometimes a very impatient person. I do want to catch a fish, I just sometimes don’t want to devote the time it takes. I would like if one just magically jumped in my lap, now wouldn’t that be nice. 😉
Of course I am talking about on-line dating here. You build a profile, “cast your line” and then you set back and wait. If you are lucky you get a bite or two or three right away. Then you must decide if you are going to keep them or throw them back. Okay, so you pick the ones that you know right away will not be suitable for you and politely send them a “thank you, but no thank you note” or maybe you just ignore the message …which should get the message across to them. Then on to the ones that you think you might have something in common with, this is where the hard part comes in for me. I am not talking so much about deciding who might be a match. I think it is pretty easy to read the profile and look at the pictures and see if you think they would be a good match. No, I am talking about once you respond back that you are interested and the chat begins. Ugh! I hate this part because for one, I just don’t have the time after work to get on a dating site and chat with 3 or 4 guys at once …not even with one, for that matter. And they always want your phone number right away, not wanting to communicate on the site. I’m sorry but I just don’t feel comfortable giving out my phone number to a complete stranger that I met 30 seconds earlier. I would really like to just skip the chat, not give out my phone number and get right to the date, the meeting or whatever we are calling it. I mean, after all, that is the only way to really know if you are going to like this person. You have to meet face to face …see if there is chemistry and get to know their personality. I don’t care how long you chat or talk to someone on the phone, you are not going to know what they are truly like and whether you will like them until you meet. So why I ask do we waste all this time on the phone or on-line? Let’s just go out! At this point, one of two things is going to happen; either bam we hit it off or we don’t and we say good-bye.
You could be talking to someone whom you think looks like this and really they look like that.
Or this could happen … 😉
What do you think? I know this has been a problem for me in the past. Some of my potential suitors have refused to meet until we do talk on the phone for an extended amount of time. I guess it breaks the ice for them …or maybe they need to hear your voice first? I don’t know …I do know that I am not a phone talker. I do not like to talk on the phone and rarely do for more than a couple of minutes at a time unless it is one of my best girlfriends or my oldest son calling from Austin. But let’s just say I have a really good feeling about one guy in particular and do give the guy my phone number before we meet. My thought is that maybe we could just text back and forth a few times and just meet. Do away with the endless nights of talking and more talking. I want to save some conversation for when we actually do meet. But then the problem is either (a) They never want to meet; never ask you out …which I find very interesting and strange. Maybe they are married …or they have really lied so much on their profile that it would be obvious once we met.
Who knows why, but usually at this point of talking and no asking I lose interest and the contact ends. Or (b) You do eventually go out and it goes really bad and now …you guessed it, they have your phone number and don’t take rejection well. Ugh!
So this time (another attempt, recently, in on-line dating) I am going to get right to the point, unless they do first, which is …after we have made contact and agree there is a potential, ask them out.
So to update you …I have thrown back some and chosen some and made the necessary responses. I so far like about 4, as potential dates. I managed to so far avoid the endless chat and no phone number on my part has been given. Plans were made with several of them to meet this upcoming week. This time I am not just casting my line and waiting …I decided to jump in the water, get my feet wet and maybe even go for a long swim. Whatever this means … Stay tuned for updates (I hope there will be updates) on my experiments in dating.