The Mistake Was In The Assumption

 

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People make assumptions everyday – work, socially, we schedule our lives around assumptions.  Some assumptions are minor and go without consequence.  But others …well the problem is not in the assumption itself,  but what is assumed.

Love can be a fickle beast.  Love is supposed to last forever, more often it does not.  Love is supposed to stand the test of time.  Love should be infinite.  There should be no questions, no assumptions.  Love should be pure, it should be true.

The mistake was in the assumption that he was not a liar.  That he was telling the truth.  There really was no one else.  He was sincere, his love true.

Assumptions can be dangerous if  made in haste, if made without clarity.  Lives can be altered, paths reshaped.  Be careful what you assume.

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This post is part of Daily Prompt.

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Unthinkable? Think again. Could Your School Be Next?

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After the recent mass shooting at Santa Fe High School, only 45 minutes away, I am increasingly concerned, to put it mildly.  No, actually, I am becoming down right worried, scared for the safety of my 16-year-old son while he attends school.  With less than a week away from the end of the school year, I’m feeling more than just the normal relief.  As I continue to watch the news of these tragic shootings, and grieve for the victims and their families, I still think this is unimaginable.  A possibility of a shooter here, in our quite neighboring communities?  Nah, Unthinkable!  That only happens in larger areas, big cities.  But now …here it is, at our doorstep.

I see the posts on social media, “Pray for Santa Fe.”  I certainly can pray for everyone involved in this horrific, senseless crime.  Praying helps, but it does not exactly calm the fears and growing concerns I have moving forward for the future and the safety of all our children.  I feel I am not alone in my thoughts here, certainly plenty are expressing their degree of astonishment, but yet it seems as if no one is really talking about it.  We have talk of more gun control, of more mental help awareness …but how do we feel as parents now, in letting our children go to school?  The unthinkable, unimaginable is happening!!  How safe are our children at school anymore?  What are the schools actually doing now, in light of this most recent shooting?  As a Mother, inside, I am shouting, “No, stop!  Don’t let him go to school!”  Is anyone else secretly screaming these very words?  This feeling of insecurity should horrify us all!

So what is to be done?  As a Mother it is my job to love, provide, protect and teach my child.  I take pride in this role, but at the moment I am feeling quite helpless to protect my child from this type of violence.  There are some things however, that are within my control.  In our homes, as parents, we can be more effective at closely monitoring our children – relationships, time on social media – what they are looking at, whom they are talking to, who are their friends.  Spend time talking with your children, ask questions, and listen to them – showing an interest in their activities and what goes on at school, without judgement.  The better informed we are, the better equipped we are.  We all should be working towards preventing the unthinkable from happening again.  Our children deserve a safe environment to learn and grow.  They are our future.  Let’s protect our future now.

As always …

Thanks for visiting!

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Place In The World – Weekly Photo Challenge

“Where do you belong? In the hustle and bustle of a big city or amongst friendly faces in a small town? For this week’s challenge, show us your place in the world.”

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The weekly photo challenge this week is Place in the World.  I am a country vs city girl.  Large crowds, heavy traffic, tall buildings on busy city streets are not my thing.  I grew up near the ocean in a relatively small area with wide open spaces.  Summers were spent by the water; camping, swimming, boating, skiing, tubing, basking in the sun.  Give me wide open spaces and friendly faces.  🙂

Outdoors in nature, by the ocean or in a beautiful meadow by a pond, country is my happy place.  I always feel grounded here, calm and at peace.

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062aA place to reflecttree reflection in water

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This post was part of The Daily Post – Weekly Photo Challenge:  Place in the World

Until next time …

Thanks for visiting!

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Not Today Anxiety, You Will Not Win

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I’ve never considered myself and introvert, not really.  When I was a small child I was somewhat shy, I did not have very many friends, but I still wouldn’t say I was an introvert.  Not that I am the life of the party, the belle of the ball, by no means …but by the time I attended High School I was pretty outgoing and had a nice group of friends.  I enjoyed going places with my friends and having fun.  I never worried about the “what if’s” in life.  Nor did I suffer from anxiety disorder.

It wasn’t until I reached the age of 50 that I begin to have problems with anxiety.  It begin actually right before my 50th birthday.  I suppose looking back at all the things that came before that particular point in my life, to lead up to that time, I should have seen it coming.  Anticipated the inevitable and possibly received some help to cope with all that I was going through.  The short of it is, is that I now have anxiety.  My anxiety comes and goes.  I am not one to take medicine easily.  I do not like to depend on medicine and prefer a more natural approach.  Therefore I chose NOT to take a pill for anxiety on a daily basis.  I manage to control it, for the most part, and only take a bit of a little orange pill if a situation arises.

My anxiety comes in several forms – fear of traveling, closed in places (feeling of being trapped) and of being in an area where there are large groups of people, such as at a major concert or sporting event.   I guess you could say claustrophobia.  If I am anywhere that I feel I can’t move about or get away (out) easily I  become nervous, worried, anxious and yes …here comes a panic attack.  Fortunately for me, this does not happen often, as I have learned to overcome fear in these situations by either dealing with it head on (with the help of my little orange pill, if needed) or avoiding the situation all together.  Which is easy to do, largely because I live in a small city of only about 30,000 population wise.

I have become very comfortable in my little area.  I go to work, I go to the grocery store and around town, I go home.  And so it goes …The problem with this is that I have created such a nice anxiety free safe haven that I never want to leave.  In doing so I have become an introvert of sorts, or maybe just a homebody if you will.  When something out of my comfort zone comes up, I tend to decline the invitation.  Lately though, I feel as if life is passing me by.  I am not living by experiencing all that I can.

My youngest son plays Soccer.  He plays in high school and on a club soccer team.  His club soccer team travels to surrounding areas in the metropolitan Houston area which is about 55 miles south of my little haven.  There are times when I do not go to watch my son play soccer.  Going would mean I would have to travel to Houston, a large city full of traffic and people, lots and lots of both.  Knowing my fear of being stuck in heavy traffic and not being able to move, go anywhere for periods of time (I know, sounds silly huh?) I choose to stay home.  Once, we all got in the car to go and were about 5 miles out-of-town headed towards Houston when the panic set in.  I could not do it, I could not go.  We had to turn the car around and take me back home while the rest of my family went.  At home, I cried and cried knowing that I would be missing priceless moments watching my son play.

But NOT this past weekend!  Here lately I am saying enough is enough!  My son played in The Director’s Cup Soccer Tournament in Bear Creek – Houston.  I was determined I was going and that the anxiety would not stop me from doing so.  The anxiety built all morning; butterflies fluttered, my stomach twisted in knots.  About 30 minutes before we got ready to leave I thought about not going …felt like I would not be able to do it.  I decided to take a 1/4 of a Valium to calm my nerves and push on.  Ten minutes in to the trip I though of turning back …feeling the panic welling up inside of me.  No! Not this time!  Not today anxiety! You will not win!  I will think happy thoughts and not let this anxiety get the best of me.  It worked!!  About 30 minutes later, mind over matter and the effect of the valium, I was doing okay.  I knew I was going to make it!

Make it I did.  I rode through the heavy traffic, pushed through the crowd at the tournament, and watched my son not only play soccer but go on to win first place in the tournament.  I experienced many emotions throughout the trip this weekend.   Fear.  Fear of the unknown.  Fear of not knowing if I could do this and what the day would bring.  Pride.  Pride for my son and his accomplishments on the field.  Pride for myself and my accomplishment of overcoming my fear.  Joy.  Joy in seeing the happiness on my son’s face as they placed the medal around his neck.  Joy in knowing I was there to experience this moment in his life.  Yes, it was a good weekend for all.  This weekend was about overcoming obstacles, moving forward and yes, winning!

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My son receiving his medal

 

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The Medal

 

Until next time …

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Sea of Tides

The beach is my happy place.  I love looking out over the ocean, enjoy watching the waves dance upon the shore.  The warm sun caressing my skin, the sand playfully tickling my toes.  The cool ocean breeze blowing through my hair always gives me a sense of freedom.  Time to play, time to relax with family, or just to be alone with my thoughts; to ponder life’s great mysteries, to reflect on my own life.

This particular early morning the tide was low and the air a bit chilly.  The sun was being shy and was not making much of an appearance.  Sitting in my favorite green and blue beach chair, I watched my son playing in the surf.  These are the moments I cherish – Time with my family by the seashore watching the sea of tides.

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Until next time …

Thanks for visiting!

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This post is part of the Daily Prompt – Tides